Hard to run sometimes

With the move to a new state and all the stress of selling a house, I underestimated how tired I have been lately. I had a nice 6.5 miles run on Sunday morning, but couldn't get out of bed from Mon thru Wed to run before the hot beach sun rose. Mind you, I have been spendig a lot of time at the beach n the sun, but still have ben abe to get 8 hours sleep. It is just that my mind says yes, while the body says no.

Today, I had a great 4 miles after probably the most restful night of sleep I 've had in a month. You know this type of sleep. You go to bed early, then maybe roll over and look at the clock. You feel as though you've slept all night, but it has only been an hour or two. Every time I rolled over and peeked at the clock, it was much earlier than I expected. So before my alarm went off this morning, I was up and running. I did 4 miles in 46 minutes, with negative splits: mile 1--12:23; Mile 2--11:45; Mile 3--10:19; Mile 4--10:27. I felt very strong at the end.

I'll run a 3 mile tempo run tomorrow and then we travel back home from the beach on Saturday. Sunday will be my first run in our new home town.

Here is a pic of the view from my front door. I see some nice golf cart paths on the course that will make for fine running.

The Beach....ahhhhhh

Enjoying the World's Most Beautiful Beaches at Panama City, FL. Here is a pic of my view from my beach chair.

Good run today, 6.5 miles, then the sun came up and it got HOT.

Moving, etc.

The move to Alabama went as well as I could have hoped. We got everything in the house on Tuesday and did little else. No beds were set up, no boxes unpacked. We secured the house and then left for the beach. I am looking out my window at the white sands of the Florida Gulf Coast and am finally relaxing some. Did three easy miles today and will run 4 tomorrow with 5 or 6 on Sunday.

Pics of the home and of beach coming soon.

Big moves!

Well. It is now official. We are moving back to Alabama--my home state. I just accepted a job as an academic department head at Jacksonville State University. Jacksonville is about an hour from my parents and three-to-four hours closer to my wife's parents in the Florida panhandle. This is a great family and professional opportunity for me. I have already registered for a 5K in Anniston (right next door to J-Ville) and the Anniston Runners Club looks amazingly active--so much so that I've already joined their club and registered for their signature event--the Woodstock 5K, which benefits Cerebral Palsy, run on August 2.

There are some nice hills in that area, which sits at the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. So lots of opportunity for Hill repeats!

This explains my blog inactivity of late. We've been feverishly packing our house for the move. We sold our house in three hours and will close on it on the 14th. Movers arrive same day and we head to 'Bama.

Pictures of my new home and the J-Ville area coming soon.

Early start, better run

Sunday long run today. Ten miles. I started much earlier than recent Sundays. I was up at 5 and on the rod by 5:40. The temp was in the high 60s and in the mid-70s by the end of the ten. I had a much better run. I've been wearing my Camelbak filled with Gatorade G2 and some electrolyte tablets dissolved within. Clif shots every three miles helped. I had a good run. In the first three miles I ran one minute slower than marathon pace. Since I am a slow runner, this was somewhere in the 13:00 to 13:20 range. In the middle miles I ran pace of between 12 and 13 minutes per mile. In the final 3 miles I ran under
11:30 per mile pace. I also took a couple of walk breaks to eat my shots, and later in the run to slow my HR, but I feel good about today. No injuries or issues. I still have a hard time imagining running 20 miles.

AWOL

Sorry to be so long in between posts. But there are some major changes about to take place in my life. First, we are planning to sell our house, which means (thanks to those clutter-obsessed HGTV jerks) I have ben cleaning the &^%$#(*&^% out of my house. We rented storage space to "stage" the house and make it look bigger than its 1599 sq. feet. I am tired.

The house is almost ready to list on the market. And I am about done with the many home improvements. What makes me sad and embarrassed is that we should have been doing stuff like this while we lived here and not just when we want to sell.


On the running front, I ran 9 on Sunday in the horrible heat and humidity. Really must start long Sunday runs before dawn.
No ITBS issues, no Achilles issues. All is well on the injury front. To quote Costanza: "I'm back baby!"

Because of all this home-focused work, I found myself sleeping in for the last 2 Tuesdays. The clock went of and I turned it off and rolled over.

That's okay. I am learning that rest is just as good as a nice run, especially after we old guys turn 40!

Is your blog or podcast linked?

I want to make sure that those of you who read this humble blog are linked on my favorites lists. It is my small way of thanking you for taking the time to read my posts.

Let me know if you don't see your link.

Have a great day.

Jane! Get me off this crazy thing!

My friend, Lisa, who is writing my training plan, also is a kiniesiologist and in the past ran a testing lab. So she hooked me up for an ECG and a VO2 test. We determined my max HR and more important, my Vo2 number. I only lasted on the machine from hell for about 11 or 12 minutes before succumbing. The worst part of it was that neoprene mask I am wearing, which measures oxygen intake and CO2 output, was horrible. It got really hot and felt like I couldn't get enought air--borderline claustrophobic.

As soon as I cried no mas, I felt I should have tried for longer. Anyway, my VO2 number is 40.2. Lisa tells me that for a 41 year old male, the predicted rate is 35. So I am in good shape in that regard. My ECG was clear, no extra beats, etc. So all is well. My body fat is 24%, most of that around the belly, which Lisa tells me is the last place for men to LOSE the weight. For men my age, the body fat should be between 15 and 19%. If my belly looks a bit larger than usual in the above image, I am wearing 12 ECG leads and a belt to keep them all attached to me as I ran. So under the shirt was a bunch of wires, etc. In short, I am pretty fit for a still-overweight 41 year old runner.

Do you hear a banjo?

A friend of mine has recently caught the running bug and has been trying to hook up with me for a run for sometime. For a while I was on injury recovery and couldn't make a run with him. But a couple of weeks ago, we finally got together for about three miles of hills along a country road near the Parish line. This was a clay and gravel road that runs in many directions and crossroads and forks with a few rural homes dotting the landscape. Some of it is pretty and some not, but there are some nice hills, which Monroe just really lacks. So in the interest of fellowship and hill training, I met up with him and we drove for about 15 minutes to the location.

It was a pretty morning and not yet too hot. We took a nice easy three miles--he ran at my slow pace, so I would be able to converse. Not much fun when your running buddy is panting and spitting!

We were barked at by some dogs and a couple of good ole boys yelled something at us--I think nice things but really didn't want to stick around and see--and it was a rather uneventful run.

Two days later at church we spoke with one of the guys that tipped my buddy to the road and he said that he'd never run without a large group on those roads. You just cannot tell what some nut MIGHT do to two or fewer people, he warned. My buddy and I looked at each other and I thought us fortunate to not have had a "Deliverance moment." While we didn't hear banjos, there was a speeding truck that looked a little reckless and reminded me of the crazy postal driver in the 1988 Chevy Chase film "Funny Farm."

I guess the only thing to detemine now is which one of us would have been the Ned Beatty character?

Oh, the humidity!

Regular Sunday long run today. Plan called for a 5 mile run. I set out at 7 a.m. and immediately felt it. 78 degrees (f) and 89% humidity at 7 a.m. Summer has arrived early in Louisiana. I felt much like the cow above.

The great news is that I ran 5 miles for the first time since the half marathon and I felt no pain in the IT bands. So, I think I am all healed. I ran 5 in an hour. This is a little quicker pace than previous training. I am trying to work in one tempo run per week and it is already paying forward. I felt like I was creeping along, but often found my pace under 12 min/mile. I know this seems slow to many of you, but for a plodder like me, it is an improvement.

I have concluded that I have to get off the roads. I need to run more on grassy surfaces, like the levies and golf courses nearby. I must buffer my joints and hips with softer surfaces.

We took the kids out to an old-style Louisiana restaurant last night in Enterprise, Louisiana. To get there we drove about 40 miles South of Monroe, then crossed the Duty Ferry cross the Ouachita River. It was a blast and the kids loved the ferry. There's a pic below.




Like I said, this was a country establishment--real close to nature. Here is a king snake enjoying a rat snake.

And the winner of the 5K is.........

Not me. But, my 6-year old won the kids 1K fun run! He ran 1K in 4:48 and was the overall winner for the 1K. I am so proud of him. He has a competitive fire that is rare for a lot of kids. My 8 year old did not run today because he told me that he prefers to get trophies for team sports. (All the participants in the kids fun run got a medal).


As for the 5K, I ran a respectable (for me anyway) 31:28 which is 55 seconds slower than my PR, set last June. Not bad for just coming back to distances of 2 and 4 miles this past week or so. My friend Lisa, who is my coach, ran with me. I know it killed her to run that slow. Lisa was 12th in the world in the master's division Olympic distance triathlon. So, this was REEEAAALLL slow for her. But she pushed me to run faster. Thanks Lisa!









Splits:
Mile 1: 9:54
Mile 2: 10:35
Mile 3: 9:56
Total: 31:28

Avg. pace: 9:48.

A 5K today

Running today in a 5K, my first race since the half. The course is flat, shady, and fast--so says the brochure. Race report later. Have a great Saturday.

Links to IT band Stretches

You asked for it, you got it.

Here are some IT band stretches links.
I use some combo of all of these stretches.

http://runningtimes.com/Article.aspx?ArticleID=6099

http://www.rice.edu/~jenky/sports/itband.html

http://www.rice.edu/~jenky/sports/itband_str.html

http://www.howtostretch.com/iliotibialstretches.html

243

That is the number of days until the start of the WDW marathon, the training for which I formally began today with a nice 3 mile run.

I think I am fully recovered from IT issues that cropped up while I trained for the Big D half-marathon. Just to be sure, I'll visit the massage therapist tomorrow. I found a nice stretching routine on the web and have followed it pretty closely. I also am spending more post-run time on really stretching the hips and IT bands. Following a piece of advice my therapist gave me, I rarely stretch pre-run. I walk to get the blood flowing, but no deep stretches. He says to stretch while cold is the same as freezing a rubber band, then stretching it out. It is most likely to break. He says we do the same thing when deeply stretching cold muscles--we can tear them and create injury.

I don't know if any of you have the Brooks Beast shoes, but I find them to be roomy, not enough to bother me, but I do think about it a lot. Here's the deal, though, when I am running, they feel great. When I walk around or stretch, I notice their roominess, especially in the toe box. But I have read a lot of online reviews that the Beast toe box is huge. So I wear more cusion-y socks and all is well.

Missing in Action

Sorry folks. I have been extremely busy the past few weeks. I am waiting to hear about a recent job interview (fingers crossed), am trying to close out my semester here, and am preparing my house to sell--either to move to a new state and job or to a larger house here in town.

For the past few weeks I have recovered from the half-marathon and my various injuries by cross-training, weight-training, and light running. Next week, I begin preparations for a marathon--the Disney Marathon. Yes, I actually begin running to Disney next week!

I'll have a larger post in a day or two with some updates and reflections, but until then, I hope you are all well and in fine running form. Thank you for reading this modest blog and for sharing this passion for running with me.

Me like the shoes & Superpower rules debate

First activity this morning with my new Brooks Beasts. I like them. They are really a departure from my worn out Brooks. I guess you don't really notice how bad the old shoes were until you add some new ones. Wahoo said that in the comments of my last post and he's exactly right.

I walked for 30 minutes. Then ran 3/4 mile trying to calibrate my foot pod. I felt good. But it did feel weird running again after 2 weeks of no running at all. But the shoes felt good. As my feet get used to support once more, they will be great. I like the fact that I went up another .5 size to 11.5. Lots of room and no toe bumpage at the end of the toe cap.

Here is a more pressing item. My kids were arguing over breakfast the other day about the rules of superpowers. They were choosing and adopting their favorite superpowers (flight, invisibility, x-ray vision, speed--sorry Dan and Nik, there was no discussion of smelling into the future. I am afraid you have a monopoly on that power.) and my oldest son (the rule maker) told my youngest (the rebel) that he could not choose a superpower that was already taken. In short, if 8-year-old chose flight, then 6-year-old couldn't have flight. The argument escalated, words and accusations flew. Dad then shut down the discussion and suspended all superpowers. So, here's my question. Is it allowable for two kids to choose the same super power?

IT Band analysis and new equipment

Reading a TON of stuff on the web about ITBS has convinced me that one of my major problems with the IT pain was shoes. I've had my shoes since last July/August (two pairs bought roughly at the same time), but in MY mind they weren't that old, because I was in achilles recovery for awhile and didn't do HEAVY running on them. Plus, shoe wear tests conclude that good shoes should last 300-500 miles. But deconstructing the recent ITBS, my coach and I realized that I do not share the same characteristics of most wear testers, namely, I am not 165 pounds. I am still overweight and that extra weight squeezes the life out of a shoe quicker than industry shoe life standards predict.

Plus, any good shoe guide will say to change shoes every three months, regardless. I realized that I used both pair of shoes to walk, then run-walk, then run all during my recovery last fall, and I kept up with few of those miles. I am a doofus and didn't realize that all this might have been the shoes.

So what did I do? I got new shoes. I had worn Brooks Trance 7s, a good stability shoe, but since I am a heavier runner with low/flat arches, I really needed a motion control shoe. So why not go for the industry standard in motion control: the Brooks Beast. Here is a pic:



Just got them today, the Beasts. The shoe is next to my other new piece of equipment, a foam roller. Man, if you haven't done the foam roller, you haven't lived. This one was at Target, for about 20 bucks.

I am in the middle of week 2 of my 3-4 week recovery from ITBS and my attitude this time is better than the last recovery (for the achilles). I am aware now that 3-4 weeks off now, prevents 3-4 months later on. Disney is the goal. I am, to quote a former prez, focused like a laser beam on Disney.

Whatever it takes.

Big D Texas Half-Marathon Race Reprt

I'm the guy with the white hat.


The weather for the Texas Marathon and Half-Marathon was perfect. At 6:30, when I arrived at the race site, it was just above 60 degrees and overcast, but windy. I was there earlier than usual, but I never had been to a race such as this, and later I found out from a friend that traffic exiting the interstate was pretty bad, as so many people were arriving at the race at the same time. I had plenty of time to walk around, wake up, and visit the men’s room on more than one occasion. The staging area was inside a building so it was warm and had indoor rest rooms. Naturally, the waiting line got rather large. So, I headed outside to a grouping of about 30 port-a-potties and had them all to myself. Not sure what makes a person go to the restroom so many times before a race. Has to be some scientific explanation.

As I walked around the staging area, I found myself thinking that I had made a horrible mistake. The conversation with myself went like this: “Are you crazy? What made you think you could run this far. The people in this room are runners; they are fit, skinny, and attractive. You are a fat, bald guy with high blood pressure. Get out of here before anyone sees you. Run. Flee. Lie, cheat, and steal yourself to safety.” But I stayed.



There's nothing better than when your kids say they are proud of you!


I should have checked my equipment before I got out of the car. My Polar Foot pod battery was signaling red, which means it is on the way to dying. So, with about 9 minutes until the start, I sprinted to my car and dug out a spare battery from headphones that come with my van’s DVD player. Put the new battery in the foot pod and reattached it to my foot. The light shined red! But it went green a few minutes later, so I did have it for the race. But it was telling me that I had run about .10 mile farther than what the mile markers for the race said. Not sure if that was a battery issue or if the pod needed recalibration or not.

Let’s start the race, shall we? Race started promptly at 7:30 with me realizing that I really could stand another potty break. Too late! Go! So I tell myself I’ll wait for a convenient in-race potty break. Right. I found that I was farther towards the front of the pack than I really wanted to be and was running faster than I planned; almost a minute per mile faster. I really wanted to start slower than that, but the mass of people swept me forward. We turned out of Dallas’ Fair Park (where the state fair is held—near the Cotton Bowl) and followed some adjacent roadways working our way toward White Rock Lake. The race course had all runners together until we reached the lake, then the marathoners went around the lake, while we halfers took a left through the park and meet the marathoners for the last 7 miles.



For the first 4 miles I felt great. I felt really strong. The weather was great, the atmosphere lively. I was surprised that so many people had what sounded like were regular conversations during these races. Reports of vacations, discussions about doctors’ visits, and spreading rumors about absent runners seemed to be par for the course. I also saw a lot of iPods. I wish races would say for sure if they have banned earphones so we cold know whether or not to really bring them.

Around mile 4, I began to feel twinges in my LEFT leg that were certain signs of ITBS. Mind you, the right leg was the one killing me for the past few weeks, and the one I bought the strap for—WHICH I FORGOT TO TAKE TO DALLAS WITH ME. GENIUS—and now the left was presenting the pain. Goodness. Well, I had bought a cheap replacement knee-brace that really wasn’t working other than to keep me warm, and I promptly switched it to the left leg. No help. For the next 8 miles I was in growing ad constant pain. This course was hilly, to be sure, so uphill felt okay. But the down hills presented me with a new high in pain management. Stopping at water stations made it worse, because as I restarted my running, I as in greater pain. Somehow, I shuffled for the next 8 miles at an incredibly slow 13-14 minute per mile pace. But I was not going to quit. ITBS be damned, I was finishing this Half Marathon. I had a family waiting for me at the finish line and I wasn’t about to come riding up on a golf cart or ambulance. I needed to finish this for myself and for them.

The course was absolutely beautiful. The half-marathon course had 6 water stations, all decorated and dressed on a certain theme, whether it be the sixties, or pajamas, etc., and they were all great and cheering all of us along. And I found Team-in-Training people to be quite enthusiastic.



There were times I was praying for the pain to be dulled, or just to fade long enough for me to run a little faster. But it didn’t. I was determined, however, to finish under 3 hours. As we neared the park more for the finish, I knew that I would complete this race, but I was struggling to come under 3 hours. The last mile seemed like it would never end. But as I neared the finish, I heard the announcer giving the names of the finishers, and I began to imagine the feeling of crossing the finish lone and looking into the eyes of those whom I care for the most, my wife and kids. I got emotional. I welled up with tears and had to fight them off. My pace quickened form the adrenaline, I caught a glance of my family, saw my boys saying to their mom “There he is!” and I lost it. I barely made it across the line, where I saw my oldest boy and he hugged me. I was in tears. This is why I run. The feelings that I had while hugging my family made the pain seem like nothing. All else faded away and all I needed was in my arms.


I want to think that since it was the big D race, they planned to use the "d"

I had finished a half-marathon just over a year from starting this running odyssey. Last April 2 miles felt like a hundred. I could have never imagined running more than 4 miles back then. Now I’ve run 13.1. I couldn’t be prouder of this accomplishment. And what got me there was the community that I entered, this family of runners. The few, but wonderful, readers of this blog, the writers of the countless blogs that I read, the pod casts that I listen to, and the people who comment on my posts. And my family.

We runners may partake of an individual sport where we must pass tests all by ourselves. But I have learned that we are never alone. Thanks for being there with me.

Yes, IT bands, I hear you. Rest time. I agree. So, on to recovery. And on to a full marathon!

Finisher!

I finished my first half-marathon on Sunday! I have officially joined the ranks of a small percentage of the population that has completed a race of this distance or longer. Full race report to follow.

As a teaser, I'll tell you that my IT Bands and I got to know each other very well for about 8 miles--and needless to say we now hate each other!

BUT I FINISHED! That's all that matters. More later......

Inspiration

If you don't already subscribe to Runner's World go purchase the May 2008 issue NOW. And then read Amby Burfoot's recollection of his running the 1968 Boston Marathon. You will want to strap on your shoes and take a 10 miler. I promise. Dallas is mere days away and boy did I need that article!

Do any of you ever dream of running Boston? Or consider it even?

Cho-pat, the IT band, and the race

Less than a week until the Texas Half-Marathon. I am officially nervous.

Got the cho-pat brace on Friday and ran 2 miles. Seems to work, but my IT issues never emerge until after 3 miles. So, on Sunday I was slated for a 6 mile run. I decided to run as far as I felt comfortable, but not the whole 6. I ran 4.25 slow miles. No IT issues arose and I felt no pain. But it was on my mind the whole time. The cho-pat band either worked or/and I have successfully rehabbed the IT band through aggressive stretching. I was happy to get that distance without pain. I expect a freer attitude on Sunday knowing that after the race I'll take time to heal, and have the luxury of time on my side.

A series of 2 mile runs this week leading up to Sunday morning's race. I have run 12, I know I am trained for the race, but for some reason I feel unprepared. I have no expectations about what to expect. Totally new experience for me. My only goals are to not eat too much the night before or morning of, to stretch and warm-up well, and to run the first mile really slow as an extended warm-up, to pay attention to my pace, and to enjoy the run. The weather forecast for Dallas has a low of 55 F on Sunday morning with a high of 76. Should be perfect weather for running.

Here is a link to a new stretch I am doing, called Walt's IT band saver. This really works the band up at the hip area and stretches it well. Kind of intricate, so read closely: http://www.sportsinjurybulletin.com/archive/0168-knee-injuries.htm

New blog banner

I was on spring break this week. So, I stayed away from the office mostly and did some home improvement projects at home, such as repainting doors in the house, especially the ones my sons have run into, drawn on, slammed, scratched, and abused.

But today I started playing around on my MAC, and after downloading a freeware program called GIMP, which is much like photoshop/paintshop, I created a new banner for the blog. Hopefully you can see it. I'd love to know what you think.

Cho-Pat to the rescue?

A friend of mine has a friend....who swears by the IT band support by Cho-Pat. So I ordered one. No running until Friday at the earliest, and only then will I do no more than 2 miles. It is usually after 3 that I hurt. So, I'll do a bunch of 2 milers before the race. My new It Band support will be here late in the week or early next. Just in time to use for the race.

Hot baths, stretching, icing, and ibuprofen in the meantime.

Here is a pic:

IT Band blues

For the past two weeks, during my long runs, my right IT band has really tightened up and been quite painful, to the point I had to stop and walk. I am really concerned. 13 days until Dallas and I have this issue! Here is the plan: no more running until Dallas. My triathlete friend says that this close to the race my fitness is already set, but that speed will be the issue. I've never been really consumed with speed. I just want to finish. So, I'll rest it, lay off running and do only spin class and other cardio exercises. There is little to no swelling, and by this morning the pain has all but disappeared. I plan to ice it twice a day after stretching the fool out of it, while popping Ibuprofen.


This is really frustrating. Just when I get to the point where I feel good about this, I have another nagging injury. I was supposed to run 8 yesterday, but eeked out 6.4, the last 3/4 mile walking.

The problem is that until 3.5 miles into my run yesterday, everything felt great. My feet felt good, had no calf or achilles issues, my pace was solid, then wham!

If you are the praying type, say a little one for me and my mood and my IT band.

I'm in!

I registered for the Disney marathon last night. So it is official. I am running in January 2009 at Disney. I had waited a little while before signing up but saw on a forum last week (www.disneyrunning.com--great site!) that the race was already half full. I pulled the trigger and registered, even buying my own timing chip to mark the occasion.

Here's the weird thing. As soon as I pressed the "pay" button, I got all nervous and fearful. We are talking about 26.2 miles, and thousands of people. What makes me think I can run it? Am I crazy? Will I finish? Nothing like signing your name on the dotted line to ramp things up.

The following was on the Disney Running forums and was originally at a blog called "The Subterranean Homesick Noos" (http://shnoos.com/OldNoos/2007/marathon/marathon.htm)

5 Reasons NOT to run a Marathon

ONE: BECAUSE IT'S INSANE.
Only a person who has slipped in some idiot juice and fallen face-first into a vat of "I'm off my tree" would even consider it. Insanity clean-up on aisle three!

Think about it: driving for 26.2 miles is a pain in the arse, and you're thinking about running it with 40,000 people in your car?

Here's a suggestion. Slip a stone into your shoe and walk around for 6 hours. Then see how on top of Ol' Smokey and covered in failure you feel. Oh, and don't forget to surround yourself with other insane asylum escapees who will happily throw little paper cups of sticky liquid in your face and call it "aid".

'Cause that's a marathon.

And if you're still going to do it, you're playing footsies with your own delusions. You're slick with the idiot juice. Practically pickled in it after four months of training.

IN-SANE.

And you'll know you're insane at Mile 18 of your precious marathon. You'll shake hands with Mile 18 and discover it has a cold, wet-fish handshake that lingers a little too long.

But there's more. Over mile 18's shoulder, you'll spot something else. In the distance. Here comes Insanity Check, riding over the horizon on a ruddy great mare. This sinewy thoroughbred will pull up right in front of you and snort in your reddened face. At which point Insanity Check will dismount and stick a fork in your thigh to see if any juice comes out. And none will.

'Cause that's a marathon.

That's why insane people scream.

Which brings us to the second reason NOT to run a marathon.

TWO: IT HURTS MORE THAN YOUR NEIGHBOR PLAYING CELINE DION AT 3AM.
Unless you work at Marlene's House of Pleasure and Pain (50% off on Bring your own Whip Wednesdays), you don't have to put up with that shit.

Seriously, if your knees are crying like baby kittens left in a burlap sack, GIVE UP! If the arches of your feet are burning brighter than banned books at a bonfire, PACK IT IN! And when you see a couple duck out of the race and into the subway in Brooklyn, don't think 'Losers'. Think, 'Now that's smart.'

For God's sake, don't shuffle on.

So what if your friends are at a pub on First Avenue and 88th Street? So what if that happens to be mile 18 and their cheers give you the will to carry on? In the Bronx at mile 21 you'll curse them to hell and back. You'll resent them for not telling you to stop and come inside for a beer. A. Nice. Cold. Beer. And that pain in your foot? It's not going to go away.

Hobbling up the hill on 5th Avenue - a hill that's longer than a Kevin Costner directed epic - you'll have a pain epiphany.

You'll see your body for what it really is. A machine. A ruthless, selfish, hungry beast that is sucking every conceivable gram of energy out of you with its pistons and gaskets and hydraulic need.

It will feed on itself and steal what it can from your blood, your teeth and your hair. It will raid the cupboard of your daydreams and suck the color from the freckles of your face. And it will never stop.

There will be a point where even running through the sticky dried carpet of Gatorade on the road requires too much effort. Too much pain to lift your feet off the sticky tarmac.

The thought that you will need to willingly run though all of this and suffer the consequences in the days after - grinning wildly as you prop your feet up on a pillow - simply proves the first point.

THREE: PEOPLE MIGHT ADMIRE YOU.
Who the hell needs admirers? If you're looking for buddies, get on Facebook and friend farm 'til the zombies come home. Join Twitter and follow someone off a cliff. Start blogging long and meaningful posts about your dog, then search optimize that puppy.

What you don't need in life is random comments from real people who are standing right in front of you. Comments about how awesome they think you are. Or how proud they are of you.

You don't need people to tell you that when you texted them at mile 11, just to let them know you had leg cramps and had stopped at a med tent for salt, it felt as though they'd just heard you'd been shot.

And you sure as hell don't need someone telling you that when they saw you on First Avenue running towards them at 88th Street, they thought to themselves, "Holy shit, she's really going to do it."

Do you really need to see them jumping up and down on the side of the road, and screaming for you, and hugging and chasing after you? Really?

Because who the hell knows how to deal with that kind of in-your-face compliment? How do you even react to that kind of reality? That would mean you have friends. That would mean that you were actually doing something extraordinary.

And face it. We all know that's just not you.

FOUR: MEETING PEOPLE. IT'S IRRITATING.
Runners belong to the worst kind of cult. They have secret codes and a language with words like fartlek and GU, but they don't have a well-fortified compound.

They just start conversations. Randomly. With anyone. It's annoying. They talk to you at the start of a race, about all sorts of messed up shit. Like how to avoid chaffing like wheat in a threshing machine. And you've never even met them before in your life!

It's like they think that just because we're all sliding around in our body glide together, they have some right to slide all over you. That you really want to feel like you're part of something, and here's your chance. Pfftt!

And then there are the ones that live on the other side of the country, who will randomly read your pathetic running blog on weendure.com and oh, wait for it, start a conversation with you.

Through the Internet.

They will spend four months encouraging and inspiring you to keep slogging away at your marathon training.

YOU WILL BE VERY IRRITATED!

Because that person is now watching you. And you want to quit, but you can't because then you'd have to explain why to that person. That you're too lazy. That it's too hard. That your knees hurt. It's too hot. You've got blisters. You're too hung-over.

You can't use these excuses because he's doing the same marathon you are and you're supposed to meet up at some point, face-to-face.

There'll also be a surprise. You'll find out that not everyone you meet on the Internet is an axe-wielding, homicidal psycho billy. Because you'll meet up with them in a public place (you never can be sure, so pick somewhere crowded), and find out that runners are runners are runners and they're a very irritatingly lovely cult, whether you meet them in the start corral or online.

Still, the Internet is filled to the gills with psychos. You might want to write that on a post it and stick it on the side of your monitor.

FIVE: YOU MIGHT LIKE YOURSELF.
The Supreme Being is totally against that. You need to always feel just a little unworthy in life. Aim to be at the top of the worthless class - the Valedictorian of Self-Loathing. Running a marathon is not going to help you achieve that goal.

Running a marathon will burn your body right down to the nub, while also flooding your soul tank with gallons of "I am the shit!" fuel. Who wants that?

Those last three miles through Central Park where you decide to run the rest of the way just to get it over with faster - what do you think that'll do for you? Make you feel like you're achieving something? Make you think that you're overcoming the hardest challenge you've ever had in your life?

Do you really want people cheering you, and saying your name as you run past? Like you're special or something? Trust me, you don't want to feel special. It sucks.

If you're running a marathon, you're an idiot. You should be crying as you turn the corner at Columbus Circle. Because holy crapsticks in a crayon case, look at how wrecked you look on the JumboTron. Don't throw your arms in the air just because you're 500 yards from the finish. Drop out. Now. No one cares.

Actually, why aren't you crying? You know, insanity hurts the whole family, and it's not natural to feel this good when you're actually feeling this bad.

To top it all off, now your face is hurting from the huge smile that you can't seem to eradicate as you cross the finish line. More pain? Really? It's over, and you can't even walk. No medal slung around your neck, or silver blanket around your shoulders is gonna help you get to the truck where your bag is. A truck that's even further away because you have the misfortune to have a surname that starts with an M.

And do you really think that your pain is gonna slip away like hot oil when you see your friends outside the park? Their hugs will just continue to trip the needle in your internal awesomeness meter to condition red. You don't need that.

Trust me. If you know what's good for you, don't run a marathon. Stay in your safe little unchallenged cocoon because it's easier. It's nice and comfortable. And face it; after you've run a marathon, nothing lives up to that. Everything else is...bleh.

Just don't do it. I dare you.

Noodle completed the NYC Marathon in 5 hours and 46 minutes. She plans to complete it next year minus the foot pain in 4.46.

Here endeth the missive

Noodle

©Janeen McCrae 2007

15 days

The Dallas Big D half is only 15 days away. I am officially nervous.

This has not been the best of weeks. A rough work week. The Sunday 12-miler was a blow to my confidence. I bonked, had all sorts of IT band pain, and wondered whether I had any business running. The massage therapist is not worried and worked me over pretty good. I just have to stick with a dedicated stretching routine before and after runs. I ran only 3 miles this week after Sunday, some from recovery, some from fatigue. My family is still out of town, so I haven't slept well all week. Plus I had to do a pretty early TV appearance for my university. It boggles my mind that i can roll out of bed at 5 to run, but having to go on TV that early is tiring.

Ran a good three miles this morning. Slow mile 1, fast mile 3. No pain on any front. Good run at a good time. I run 8 this Sunday then start tapering for the race.

The Wall

As much as I'd like to for this post to be all about Pink Floyd's smash hit from the 1980s, alas, it is not.

I met Mr. Wall today. Actually, I met the Wall that bullies the normal walls. No. Check that. I met the bully who picks on the bully who torments normal running walls.

And, as we say in the South, he opened up a can of whoop-%$# on me!

Here's the deal. My family is at the beach. My kids' spring break never matches the one at the school where I teach. So they always head to the beach and leave dad alone in the house. I can't sleep in my empty house. My family is like a snuggle blanket for me and without them around, I find it hard to relax.

So, last night I didn't sleep well. Plus, I overslept. I find it easy to oversleep when your spouse isn't around to tell you to shut off the snooze, or else.
With the late start, and a bad night's sleep, I set out for a 12 mile run. The first in my life, I might add. After 5, I was tired and my legs hurt. I knew I was in trouble. By mile 8, I could have sat in someone's yard and fallen asleep. My legs were killing me--the whole leg, from feet to knees to hips. No gas in the tank. I had my shot bloks, my camelbak. None of that was the issue. My body just decided enough was enough. When I ignored the pleadings of my body to stop all this madness, my body's close friend, Mr. Titanium Wall, appeared. There was no breaking through that sucker. so I ran along the length of the wall until I hit 12 miles and then called it a day. I took more walk breaks than ever, too. I know this is an important step on the way to the Dallas Half Marathon, but boy was it hard today. This is the first time in this period of training that I felt this way. Must be a sure sign that it is time to taper.

That said, I still ran it in a respectable (for me) 2:38, with a 13 min per mile pace.

Here's a little tidbit about the shot bloks. My struggles with shot bloks have been well documented here. I don't like to start chewing into the things right away; they stick to your teeth, you can breath the small chunks down your windpipe, all sorts of trouble. So, I just wedge them in my cheek and treat them like a Jolly Rancher hard candy. Well, I was switching a blok to the other side of my mouth and accidentally inhaled an entire shot blok. Luckily, it went down my throat and not into my windpipe. There were a couple of seconds where I wondered if I would have to find some protruding object with which to perform some crude self-Heimlich maneuver, but it slid right down. Maybe I should stick to gels.

How do I explain this?

Sunday. Eight miles scheduled on the day of daylight savings time. Usually I run in the early morning hours, but it was too cold, and I was still very tired from losing that precious hour of sleep. So I told myself I'd run in the afternoon after church. So I did. Temps in the hi 50s/low 60s. Sun shining. Perfect day for a run. So I throw on my visor to soak up sweat and go for an 8-miler. Guess I forgeot about my bald head and the sun. It didn't occur to me that wearing the visor was to invite a weird sunburn! Got home today and after the shower discovered this:



I'm going to be explaining this one for a while.

By the way, the run was good. Averaged a 12 minute/mile for 8, but that doesn't account for the 4-6 minutes I stopped for water and spoke with a friend of mine. So I averaged a pace under 12 minutes per mile. Not bad. But I felt it today. The sun sapped me of energy. I've been tired all day from the fast run and the sun and am headed to bed.

Okay. Here is a self-made pic of my legs. Really, now. Do these legs merit a catcall from anyone, much less a 60-year old man?

"good looking legs!"

First, let me say that although I have only run 2 10-milers, this last one was awesome. I had energy, my legs didn’t hurt after 8, and I felt great. It was warmer than usual on a Sunday morning around 7 AM, but the day was beautiful. My first two miles were warm-up miles, slower pace and easy strides. But once I got into the zone, I was really going. I ran this 10 in 1:57, shaving some 13 minutes off of the first 10-miler last week. The half-marathon really is within grasp now.

As with last week’s run, I had my camelback and a bag of Clif Shot bloks. Since it was warmer, the bloks weren’t as stiff and hard as when it was 36 degrees. Much easier to chew, so no hacking on the road.

Okay. Now the legs story. I wore shorts. It was maybe 60 degrees, so not cold enough for tights. I was about 7 miles into my run down Island Drive (see pictures in an earlier post) when I ran by a house with a couple of pickups in the driveway and two older gentlemen in what appeared to be hunting gear. I gave the standard wave greeting, said good morning and jogged past them. As I went by, one of them said “good looking legs!” It took a moment for that to register with me. Getting ogled by an old man is not what most 40-year old men expect (nor wish) to hear while on long runs. While I remain faithful to my wife, I must confess that I much rather liked to have heard such a comment from a woman----any woman. How did I respond? I shouted back to him, “I don’t know whether to say ‘thanks’ or to run faster.” I really don’t think my legs are that special. But I might post a pic here for you to vote on.

Running 8 miles later today. The time change really got me. But I rose early and saw the temp outside--29 degrees--which sealed my decision to not run. I’ll run after church today when the temps will be in the 60s.

Less than a month until Dallas. I registered this week, so I am official.

A teaser for the next post

What happens when you run the best 10 miles of your life, a 60 year old man says you have "good looking legs" (and you're a guy!), and you don't choke on Clif Shot bloks?

Find out in the next post of Running To Disney. Coming soon.